Thursday, 15 April 2010

Eastenders:The 'Grim Myth'

I heart Eastenders. There are no other soaps in my life now that Hollyoaks has been phased out. These days, there is only Walford and her inhabitants to occupy my soap dish, dip a doughnut in my tea and provide heart-rending material for regular sofa sobbing.

Every time that I give voice to my love,however, there is but one retort;"Eastenders? But it's so depressing!" Wrong, wrong, wrong and I'm about to tell you why:

1. It is before the water shed, so there can be no swearing. Shouting arguments are forced into trailing silences or quaint euphemism.

2. They all still do their shopping in the market; supporting local commerce and sticking two fingers up to the conglomerates.

3. Even though they all hate each other, they all turn up for each others weddings, funerals, engagement parties, birthday parties, coming home from jail parties, etc...

4. They cover each others' shifts all the time! If I visited my friend who works in a pub and she said "Hey, Tea Lady, I'm going across the road to punch my boyfriend in the face for sleeping with my mum, can you look after the bar?" I would say "But I don't know how to work the till, where is the stock? What if a barrel needs changing?"

The people of Walford do no such thing, they just slip on that Minute Mart or Laundrette tabard or tie on a market change-apron and just get on with the covering; leaving said friend to punch to her heart's content.

5. Even people who have only been living in the square for five minutes have a best friend, a job and a torrid affair. Things that take most of us weeks, months or years to obtain.

You see? Heartwarming. Walford is like a sleepy little village where all dreams come true and they just happen to talk in Cockney accents.

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