What is with trousers at the moment???!!!

I cannot wear these because, like most women, I have buttocks. They are not large buttocks, I am not chased down the street by jeering mobs, they are normal, average sized butt cheeks. Skinny jeans, however, are my enemy.

And yet, I am not so large as to require these extremely large trews which are also, apparently in fashion.

As for these monstrosities... if I wanted to dress like MC Hammer, I would wear a short, gold jacket, not these. I cannot believe that these are in fashion... who do they suit?

Don't get me started on the whole 'it's okay to wear joggers when you're not exercising' thing.

Leggings are okay under tunics or long jumpers but I am seeing a lot of bums, clad only in lycra, being flaunted on the street.  This does not look good.

I thought that tapered trousers were a thing of the past, like using lard for cooking. It seemed obsolete and something that everyone now believed to be unflattering.

There is a reason that hipster boot-cut jeans were in fashion for over ten years... they were flattering!!! Women who have buttocks are going to have to wear skirts for the foreseeable future it appears. Hello double layers of tights if these last two years of winter are anything to go by. I'm mad!!!!

It is literally impossible at the moment to buy trousers that are not completely LUDICROUS!!!!!!